Discouragement

I haven't written in a month.  That is how long it has been since I got bumped out of the legacy prize by a business man who wants to increase his autistic son's self esteem by asking all his business friends to vote for his son,  Never mind that it takes him all of 3 minutes to paint some lines on a page.  Never mind that his teacher frequently holds his hand with his paint brush in it.  Never mind that it takes me weeks to complete a piece of work.  Never mind that I have no more money for supplies.  Never mind that I can not compete like a regular person.  Never mind that I was one of two people who spent all of the second day and the Art Museum when no one else did. I am so angry.  I can find no peace here any more.  I am no longer sure I want to paint.  I do not sell any pictures.  I do not know how to deal with any of this.  No selling no material to paint no painting.  It will be a while till I find my way back.  Sorry all.
Elaine